the downward cycle
The first thing to do is realize that you're actually in a
downward spiral. Everything is spinning out of control, so
it's confusing. Recognizing that it's happening is the first
part of gaining control. Gather up as much information as
you can about your downward spiral. Where are you heading?
How fast are you going? How close are you to disaster?
"I am in control"
You actually have to tell yourself that, or else you'll end
up panicking and that'll only make matters worse. You CAN
control it; you CAN get out of it. Once a downward spiral
has actually started, there are a bunch of other factors now
taking over. That can make you feel like you're helpless.
You really aren't, but you rally aren't in control either.
Now is the time to TAKE control.
Control the symptoms
Once you're in the downward spiral, the cause is irrelevant.
Much like treating a runny nose and aching head of a cold,
go after the symptoms and control it from there. In an every
day life that's out-of-control, it could look like no time
for yourself, a messy house, tons of arguments with those
around you. You can clean up, get organized and stop trying
to be "right" all the time… that will solve
most of your downward problems right away.
The spiral happens because the outside forces are now stronger
than the inside forces. You literally have to apply the brakes
to the outside. What that looks like in your personal life
is saying "stop it" regardless of anyone outside
hears it. You have to say it to stop the effect it has on
you. Saying "NO" allows you to reach the "YES"
that's inside you. It empowers you because you refuse to let
yourself be controlled by outside.
You can't just push in the opposite direction. That can make
it worse. Being gentle, however odd that might feel at first
is the only way to ease out of the problem.
When things star to ease up, you actually have to start moving
away from the downward spiral. Once this happens though, you
gain the control back, and can fly again.