If you DON'T
follow this advice, you'll be on the right track:
Ignore their needs
Nothing says "I don't care" quite as much
as simply not being there when someone needs you. To achieve
this goal, there's nothing you need to do.
Don't acknowledge their accomplishments
People want feedback; even if it's not the most favorable
feedback, at least they can use it to grow. This is a variation
of "ignore their needs" because this is something
that they look to you to validate them in some way. Your opinion,
for some odd reason, actually means something to them...
so by not acknowledging them with a good word or constructive
criticism, this one can actually hurt more than just ignoring
Tell them they're bad/wrong
You could actually go out of your way, if you are really into
hurting someone else. Just tell them that you think they're
wrong for being who they are. If they care even a little bit
about themselves, you'll get them to become angry as
well as hurt. If they have very low self-esteem, this will
be like kicking them when they're already down.
Change the rules AFTER the fact
This one is for those who actually are trying to participate
in the lives of other people. For those who don't want
to ignore them, but simply want to de-motivate them through
confusion, simply change the rules AFTER they've accomplished
something. Sure they did what you originally asked them to
do, but now they're wrong. They should collapse under
their own frustration and perhaps quit entirely.
This one might make you look bad, since you're the one who's
doing it; but as long as you don't mind that, feel free to
not follow through on what you promise. Sure, they'll eventually
learn not to rely on you, but you can still dash their hope
This often accompanies breaking promises. It tells the person
that something else is more important than they are. If you
come up with some really good ones, they might even believe
you're doing it in "their best interest."
Good one! It makes THEM feel guilty for you not caring.
Too little/too late
If you really care, but still want to de-motivate people,
you can try giving a little bit, but not enough to be of any
good. "A day late and a dollar short" still prevents
others from reaching their goals, but at least you can feel
good about yourself.
Live their life for them
This is for those people who really like to go to extremes.
You care so much that you don't let someone else do anything
for themselves. Meddle in everything! Tell them what they
should and shouldn't do; even do things for them that they
don't ask for. This way you can be the martyr and they can
be the ungrateful ones. This actually makes them look like
they don't care about you. Talk about "turning the tables."
This one is a true classic.
So you see, it can range from zero to over-caring,
but you can de-motivate people at every level. It doesn't
take that much effort at all.
Caring for others, especially when it comes
to encouragement, takes a lot of work. You don't have
to do it; only unless you want to help others become better
than they could on their own.
You have more power than you think. It
all depends on the results you want... and if you really