People don’t listen to what you say.
They don’t understand you.
They don’t learn from your words.
and understand and learn from what they HEAR.
People live inside their heads. There’s
a lot of noise going on besides just what you’re saying;
both on the outside and the inside. It’s amazing we
can communicate at all.
Keeping that in mind will help you reach out. Learning to
hear, and to be heard, will teach you how to truly connect
to those around you.
Stop your own noise
You’ve got your own chatter box going a mile a minute
in your head. In fact, you're way ahead of the conversation as
you speak. Try to keep up with your own conversation; stay
closer to your present moment.
Say what you mean
And, of course, mean what you say. Just make sure you are
clear, concise and honest in what you’re saying.
You say more than words
Your facial expressions, tone and body language all say stuff…
even more than your words do. That’s actually part of
what the other person is “hearing.” As long as
you are sincere, all the rest will be aligned with your words.
Double check that they haven’t checked out
People give off a lot of clues whether they’re listening
or not. Pay attention. If you’re not getting feedback
that they’re “with you” stop and ask.
Hear them too
Remember that chatter box in your head is still going at it;
you’re rapidly searching for a response to the other
person. Listen to what they’re saying; to make sure
you’re connecting. Remember that what they have to say
is as important as what you have to say… so give them
the same gift of hearing them.
Say no more than you have to
To connect, a person just has to “get it” …
beyond that, it’s just more noise.
Like this last sentence.