My boyfriend/Xboyfriend have been apart for I'd say 4 months and we split up or decided to give some space to each other and/or, not live together.... However since this has happened another boy was introduced to him, they hang out quite frequently and when my x travels on biz the friend goes with... Now when asking my ex what's up and what kinda relationship they have he states ... "But there is nothing going on between them" " He uses him for business reasons ."... However it was never an option for me to travel with him when we were together.... Now I think there is something more going on other than business and in return he calls me psycho and crazy, and yes I have some scars from a couple of relationships in the past where he cheated on me but I had my suspicions then too ....Our relationship lasted about 2 years and I can honestly say I am for the first seriously in love .... What should I do ?...?
Confused with Deteriorating Feelings......
Dear Confused & Deterioriating,
In order for two people to have a relationship, they both have to set the rules, live by those rules, and be willing to play again tomorrow. As soon as just one of those elements are broken, the rest falls down like a house of cards. The glue that keeps the house from collapsing is Trust.
Right now it sounds like someone isn't playing with a full deck.
Our actions speak louder than our words, and yet we often twist words around to confuse or conceal our actions. Even if we've been hurt by others in the past, it's important for each person to be true both in action and word. If we cannot have that, then the very foundation of the relationship is weak. It cannot help but fall.
You may never know if there is cheating going on, but you can make choices based on what you believe is right for you. If it hurts to be in love with someone who is untrue in action and or words, then it's important to step away and open yourself up to something better.
Remember, you signed it "deteriorating feelings"... that's a sign that things are changing within you. Don't fight those changes over what used to be, or what you hope might ever be.
To cling to something that will never bring you true happiness is unfair to you, to the one you cling to, and to the potential other who will never get the chance if you don't let them in.
Keep the light on,