I have been with my fiance for almost three years. We are both in college and have been engaged for a year. We are waiting to get married until we graduate in a year and a half. He stayed at school for the summer and I came to live at home. We are six hours apart and do not see each other often. We first started dating after my ex cheated on me. I was really hurt by that and Jonathan (my fiance) helped put my heart back together. Ever since I came home, my feelings have changed. I love Jonathan, but I'm having mixed emotions about everything. I can't get my ex out of my head. It's been a while since I've seen or heard from him, but he's all I think about. I love my fiance, and I don't understand why I'm having these feelings. I feel like I'm still in love with my ex. How can I be in love with two people?
Please help! I'm in emotion overload!
The question to ask yourself is "Am I REALLY in love with two people?" or are these feelings coming from something else? Oftentimes, we find ourselves on the precipice of a new life, hanging unsure of whether we're ready to commit to something new, or linger in the good times of the past. Remember, the nice thing about Time is that it cleans up the past; like sandcastles returning to the sea. It makes us long for the 'Good Ole Days' when in fact they weren't so good when we first lived them.
So the first thing to answer is whether you really miss yoru ex, or the memories of your ex.
Next, look forward to your new life. Ask yourself, "why am I here?" You said you started to date your fiance after you were cheated by your ex... so are you truly ready to commit to your fiance, or has all this been a reaction to your being hurt?
Since you haven't seen your ex in a long time, and you are away from your fiance, you've been left to 'fill in the blanks' with your imagination. It is THIS that I suspect is causing your dilemna... not in what you know, but rather what you DON'T know that has you wondering 'what if?'
The answers to these lie within you. There are no right or wrong answers, only inappropriate choices that don't fit your Truth. Be honest with yourself (don't worry there's no quiz after this) and see which of these people you truly love... which of these fit your life... which of these enrich your life.
Then make a conscious choice to move forward... whomever that might be with... only make sure that it is FORWARD... and not something in your PAST... or else you will forever be wondering, second guessing... and denying yourself of a true PRESENT.
Let me know how it goes.
Keep the light on!