Dear Guru Stu,
My fiance left me after a two year engagement and
I'm just devastated. What can I do?
Left and Lost
Sometimes the present can become so dark as to cast
a shadow now just on the past, but also on the future. I won't lie and
tell you that it's not going to be rough. It will probably be a dark time
up ahead, but this is a tunnel, not a cave... and there is a light at
the end of it.
The first thing to do is to gather up your support system... your friends,
your family, your pets... those that love and support you and are willing
to listen to you grieve. You will have to grieve if you want to get through
And you may want the help of a professional counselor to help you through
the roughest times.
Right now, it's just important to surround yourself with Love, so you
don't carry all the negativity on your shoulders.
Next, get out a piece of paper and write down today's month and day,
but add NEXT YEAR's year. Then as quickly as you can, jot down the kind
of life you want to be living. Be careful not to escape into a fantasy
that is unattainable; or too vengeful. It doesn't have to be so detailed
as to bog you down either, just describe an ideal life WITHOUT your fiance.
The point of this exercise is to separate yourself from the painful present
and start focusing on a more hopeful future.
As you work through your issues, keep going back to the list. Read it.
Revise it. Eventually, you will live it.
Keep the Light On.