Realize the downward cycle
The first thing to do is realize that you're actually in a downward spiral. Everything is spinning out of control, so it's confusing. Recognizing that it's happening is the first part of gaining control. Gather up as much information as you can about your downward spiral. Where are you heading? How fast are you going? How close are you to disaster?

"I am in control"
You actually have to tell yourself that, or else you'll end up panicking and that'll only make matters worse. You CAN control it; you CAN get out of it. Once a downward spiral has actually started, there are a bunch of other factors now taking over. That can make you feel like you're helpless. You really aren't, but you rally aren't in control either. Now is the time to TAKE control.

Control the symptoms
Once you're in the downward spiral, the cause is irrelevant. Much like treating a runny nose and aching head of a cold, go after the symptoms and control it from there. In an every day life that's out-of-control, it could look like no time for yourself, a messy house, tons of arguments with those around you. You can clean up, get organized and stop trying to be "right" all the time… that will solve most of your downward problems right away.

Stop it!!
The spiral happens because the outside forces are now stronger than the inside forces. You literally have to apply the brakes to the outside. What that looks like in your personal life is saying "stop it" regardless of anyone outside hears it. You have to say it to stop the effect it has on you. Saying "NO" allows you to reach the "YES" that's inside you. It empowers you because you refuse to let yourself be controlled by outside.

Gently... Gently...
You can't just push in the opposite direction. That can make it worse. Being gentle, however odd that might feel at first is the only way to ease out of the problem.

Point away
When things star to ease up, you actually have to start moving away from the downward spiral. Once this happens though, you gain the control back, and can fly again.

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I have been with my fiance for almost three years. We are both in college and have been engaged for a year. We are waiting to get married until we graduate in a year and a half. He stayed at school for the summer and I came to live at home. We are six hours apart and do not see each other often. We first started dating after my ex cheated on me. I was really hurt by that and Jonathan (my fiance) helped put my heart back together. Ever since I came home, my feelings have changed. I love Jonathan, but I'm having mixed emotions about everything. I can't get my ex out of my head. It's been a while since I've seen or heard from him, but he's all I think about. I love my fiance, and I don't understand why I'm having these feelings. I feel like I'm still in love with my ex. How can I be in love with two people?

Please help! I'm in emotion overload!

Signed,
Emotional Wreck